There are many reasons why you might be feeling like a failure. Some factors that might play a role include:
A sense of hopelessness Anxiety Depression Feelings of helplessness Lack of supportive relationships Low self-esteem Making comparisons with others Poor self-concept Negative self-talk Unrealistic expectations
If you find yourself thinking, “I am a failure,” it’s important to know that there are things you can do to feel better. Knowing how to deal with failure in a healthy way takes some of the fear out of it—and it might reduce the pain so you can bounce back better than before. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making says you shouldn’t try to slough off feeling bad after failure. Researchers discovered that thinking about your emotions—rather than the failure itself—is most helpful. So, go ahead and embrace your emotions. Acknowledge how you’re feeling and let yourself feel bad for a bit. Label your emotions as you allow yourself to experience them. For example, you might think, “I’m disappointed,” or “I’m sad that didn’t work out.” Recognize the unhealthy ways you try to avoid or minimize pain in your life. Turning to coping mechanisms that do more harm than good will only make your situation worse. Those types of beliefs are inaccurate, and they can prevent you from doing things where you might not succeed. Make a point to identify the irrational beliefs that might be impacting your feelings and behavior. When you find yourself thinking that you’re a hopeless cause or that there’s no use in trying again, reframe your thoughts. Remind yourself of more realistic thoughts about failure such as:
Failure is a sign that I’m challenging myself to do something difficult.I can handle failure.I can learn from my failures.
You may need to repeat a phrase or affirmation to ward off negative thoughts or to reinforce to yourself that you can bounce back. Many successful people continue to fail regularly. Actors get rejected for roles, athletes get cut from the team, and business owners get turned down for deals. Study what they did to bounce back. You might learn skills that can help you in your own life. It can be helpful to see that failure is something that everyone deals with. Think about what you could do differently next time. Then, you will ensure your failure has become a life lesson that helped you learn something. Instead of seeing a failure as a burden weighing you down, look at it as a stepping stone toward your goals. With your new learnings, think about what you’ll do differently next time. Create a plan that will help you put the information you gained into practice. Subscribe Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Practice stepping outside your comfort zone. Do things that might get you rejected or try new things where you could fail. Over time, you’ll learn that failure isn’t as bad as you might imagine. It will help you learn to face your fear of failure in a way that can be productive and help you reach your goals.
A Word From Verywell
Sometimes, failure becomes debilitating. If you’re struggling to function after you’ve failed at something, consider seeking professional help. Whether you’ve experienced a failed marriage or you’ve failed in business, talking to a mental health professional can assist you in bouncing back.
