If eating and drinking in front of others causes you extreme anxiety, you may either endure these situations with great discomfort or avoid them altogether. Avoidance creates a vicious cycle in that the more narrow your life becomes, the harder you will find it to eat and drink in front of others. You may find yourself turning down invitations or making choices that don’t require eating in front of others.
Triggers for a Fear of Eating in Front of Others
Fear of eating and drinking in front of others can be triggered by a wide variety of situations, foods, and dining companions.
Situation: Some people feel anxious in every situation in which they must eat or drink in front of others, while others fear specific settings such as formal banquets or dinner parties.Company: Certain individuals become anxious only when eating in front of authority figures. On the other hand, some may be anxious even when eating in front of people whom they know well.Atmosphere: Some may become more fearful if they are in a crowded restaurant as compared to dining in a quiet setting with only a few companions.
Potentially messy foods such as spaghetti will be more anxiety-provoking because there is a greater likelihood of embarrassment while eating. Beverages do not usually influence the level of fear, although drinks that are more likely to stain, such as red wine, may provoke more anxiety.
Types of Worries
If you have a fear of eating or drinking in front of others, there is probably a long list of embarrassing events that you worry might happen in these situations. They may include some of the following:
Your hands will shake.You will spill your food or drink.You will choke and draw attention to yourself.You will vomit or lose control of your bowels.You will look unattractive while eating.You will become flushed from eating spicy food.
The Root Cause of Anxiety
Underlying all of this anxiety is the fear of being negatively evaluated by others. A 2015 study found that this fear of negative evaluation explained part of the relationship between social anxiety and aspects of disordered eating. In addition, a 2012 study found that social appearance anxiety (the fear that you will be negatively evaluated for your appearance) may predict symptoms of both social anxiety and eating disorder symptoms. As a result, modifying those underlying negative beliefs or negative social evaluation fears is needed to treat this type of disordered eating, rather than a focus on specific issues with eating.
Treating a Fear of Eating in Front of Others
If difficulty eating in front of others is causing significant impairment in your daily life, and you have not been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, consider making an appointment with your family doctor. Your doctor can help assess the situation and coordinate treatment. CBT involves identifying negative automatic thoughts and replacing them with more rational thinking patterns. In addition, some form of exposure training usually complements this practice of cognitive restructuring. Exposure may mean actual eating and drinking scenarios in which other group participants act as dining companions.
A Word From Verywell
If you are experiencing difficulty eating in front of others, consider the source of your anxiety. Are you worried about how others will perceive you or more worried about eating the actual food itself? Ask yourself these questions to better understand your own disordered eating patterns and what the next steps may be.
