Definition
Secondary emotions are emotional reactions we have to other emotions. For example, a person may feel ashamed as a result of becoming anxious or sad. In this case, anxiety would be the primary emotion while shame would be the secondary emotion. Secondary emotions are often caused by the beliefs we have about experiencing certain emotions. Some people may believe that being anxious or sad is a sign of weakness or says something negative about them as people. Therefore, whenever these emotions are experienced, these thoughts come up, which trigger secondary emotions.
Changing One’s Beliefs About Emotions
Since secondary emotions are often rooted in one’s belief system, changing one’s beliefs can help alleviate secondary emotions. A number of individuals grow up hearing that boys don’t cry or girls don’t get angry. Race may also play a role in how certain emotions are perceived. A Black man may have grown up hearing that he shouldn’t get angry, lest he scare people. An Asian American woman may be expected to behave in a passive way due to racial stereotypes about her race and gender collectively. As a result, these individuals may feel uncomfortable experiencing so-called taboo emotions and beat themselves up when they do. Therapy may help such people.
How Therapy Can Help
In therapy, patients can learn to simply feel their feelings without judgment. They can be taught that no feeling or emotion is a bad emotion. They can also be taught the value of all emotions, even ones that might make them uncomfortable, such as anger or sadness. Moreover, a therapist can point out the negative consequences that arise when people try to keep emotions at bay, such as turning to drugs, alcohol or food to self-medicate. In therapy, people with PTSD and other mental health conditions may also learn healthy ways to cope with emotions that make them uncomfortable. They may be encouraged to exercise, eat well, journal, meditate, sleep adequately, and strengthen their emotional support system. By practicing mindfulness techniques, one can learn to simply observe their thoughts and emotions and be aware that such feelings will pass.
A Word From Verywell
In a society that has long valued silent, strong types who weather storms without a hitch, it can be easy to believe that you’ve fallen short of feeling emotions that society says makes one weak. In reality, you haven’t fallen short; you’re simply human. Fear, anger, and sadness have long been part of the human experience and always will be.
