The Facets and Functions of Anger
Certain emotions may feel unpleasant or uncomfortable, but they serve an important purpose. Emotions are essentially our body’s way of communicating with us. They allow us to communicate information to other people, give us information about our environment, prepare us for action, and deepen our experience of life. Anger is an emotion that is often about control. When we experience anger, it’s often our body’s way of telling us that that we feel like things are out of our control or that we have been violated in some way. Anger can motivate us to try to establish or reestablish control (or at least a sense of control) over a situation. Given this function, it makes sense that anger is believed to be an underlying facet of PTSD and is frequently experienced by people with the disorder. The extreme fluctuations of internal experience that occur in PTSD (for example, constantly shifting between emotional numbing and intense anxiety) can also make you experience your inner life as chaotic and out of control. These feelings, in turn, can cause anger. Anger is a valid emotion that can often be constructive, but it also has the potential to be destructive.
Constructive Anger
In her book Seeking Safety (a well-known treatment developed for people with PTSD and substance use) Dr. Lisa Najavits describes constructive anger as anger that can be healing. Constructive anger is often not as strong as destructive anger. It is also something that can be explored or examined to help you better understand your situation, other people, and yourself. Further, for anger to be constructive, a person must also be aware of it. As an example of constructive anger, let’s say that a friend cancels an important lunch date with you at the last minute. By approaching your anger and listening to what it is telling you, you might be motivated to talk to your friend about how you were upset by the last-minute cancellation and come up with ways to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Here, your anger is being used to take control of the situation and maintain your self-respect.
Destructive Anger
Destructive anger is expressed in an unhealthy way and causes harm. For example, a person may act out aggressively towards others. The anger might also be turned inward, resulting in deliberate self-harm or substance use. Destructive anger tends to be frequent and strong. In PTSD, these feelings can be even more intense. Sometimes, a person may be unaware of their anger or, if they are aware, they may try to suppress or avoid it. Destructive anger can work in the short-term because it releases tension; however, it is associated with long-term negative consequences. For example, if you were to respond to your friend (from the example above) by yelling at him or cutting off all ties with him, you could lose a friendship and an important source of social support. If you took the anger out on yourself, you wouldn’t learn how to adequately cope with the situation, increasing the likelihood that it would occur again in the future.
Managing Your Anger
Anger can be a difficult emotion to manage, especially if you have PTSD. However, if you listen to your anger and attempt to connect with the information that it is giving you, it will help you learn to better respond to your environment. Understanding why anger is present often makes it feel less chaotic and unpredictable. There are healthy ways of managing anger and any other intense emotion you might feel overwhelmed by. For example, self-soothing skills or taking a time-out. Finally, seeking out social support can also be an effective way to cope with and manage anger. Other emotion regulation strategies can also help. As previously discussed, the Seeking Safety method includes coping strategies for anger as well as the other symptoms of PTSD. However, the more you approach your anger, listen to it, and respond to it in a healthy way, the more your tolerance for anger will increase, and the long-term negative consequences of not dealing with anger will decrease.