Over time, two types of language were used to describe adoption-related topics: positive adoption language and honest adoption language. You can read ahead to learn why language matters in adoption-related discourse and the differences between honest adoption language and positive adoption language.

While you might not think of adoptees as an underrepresented or marginalized group, the truth is that adoptees experience loss nearly upon birth or during childhood. As a result, adoptees have a higher likelihood of dealing with trauma-related symptoms.

Adoption and Microaggressions

Adoption is often viewed through a binary lens—either the adoptive parents are labeled as “rescuers,” or the adoption process is deemed an inferior way to have a child (when compared to conceiving a child with a partner). As a result, adoptees may receive some damaging messages. Some of the types of microaggressions adoptees face:

Hearing “biology is best"Being characterized as a “bad seed"Being told “you should be grateful"Messaging that “adoption is win-win"Secrecy around their origins or even the fact that they are adoptedInvalidation of heritage 

These microagressions, also known as “positive adoption language” can be very difficult for adoptees to navigate and embrace, says Lesli Johnson, LMFT, a therapist specializing in adoption. Now that you know some of the ways that language can affect adoptees, read on to learn about two very different schools of thought around adoption language.

What Is Positive Adoption Language?

Years ago, the language surrounding the adoptive process was very stigmatizing. In response, social worker Marietta Spencer introduced Positive Adoption Language in 1979 in her article titled, “The Terminology of Adoption.”

What Is Honest Adoption Language?

Some people believed that positive adoption language was too positive to the point where adoptees felt that it glazed over some of the more painful and emotional aspects of adoption (like grief and loss). To paint a more accurate picture of adoption of the adoption process, honest adoption language was created. Critics of honest adoption language believe that calling birth mothers “natural mothers” implies that adoptive parents are “unnatural.” Moreover, critics argue that honest adoption language erases the early work of those who fought to bring positive adoption language to the forefront.

Inclusive Adoption Language

There are people who take issue with both positive and honest adoption language. So, some people advocate for more neutral language known as inclusive adoption language.

Positive Adoption Language vs. Honest Adoption Language

Below is a chart that compares positive and honest adoption language. *When referring to the adoptive family

Positive and Honest Adoption Language Terms Explained

Now that you’re familiar with both types of adoption language and aware of some examples, here is an explanation of the terms listed above.

Birthparents vs. Natural Parents

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