The Best Types of Goals
An acronym often used in relation to goal setting is “S.M.A.R.T.“ S.M.A.R.T. stands for:
SpecificMeasurableAttainableRealisticTime-Bound
For example, you might choose a goal to make five new friends this year. Your goal is specific (5 friends), measurable (whether or not you meet this target), attainable (if you work hard at meeting new people), realistic (many people have at least 5 friends) and time-bound (to be achieved in the next 12 months). An example of an unrealistic goal would be to never feel anxiety in social and performance situations. Such black and white thinking sets you up for failure, as you may always feel some anxiety in those situations. Here are some great steps to set your goals.
1. Identify your goals
What would you like to change with respect to your social anxiety? Choose short, medium, and long-term goals in areas such as:
Making new friendsGetting a jobBecoming physically healthy
Be careful not to let your anxiety get in the way of choosing goals. Identify goals without any regard for how anxious they might make you feel. Be sure to also write down your goals to make sure you stick to them.
2. Break goals into chunks
For example, if your goal is to make one phone call each day, start by choosing who you will call and make sure that you have the right phone number.
3. Identify obstacles
What might get in the way of you making five new friends? Identify those challenges and find ways to work around them. Join a club or take lessons of some sort to meet people if you don’t cross paths with others often.
4. Schedule goals
Plan a regular time that you will work toward your goal. In the example of making five new friends, schedule regular activities that will put you into contact with prospective buddies. For example, you could visit the gym at the same time each week in the hopes that you may run into the same people each time.
5. Complete your goal
You may need to write down the exact steps you will take to achieve your goal. For the new friends example, this might mean writing down steps such as conversation starters, how to keep the conversation going, etc.
Motivation to Achieve Goals
Having goals to work on your social anxiety won’t do much if you are still lacking motivation. Be sure to identify obstacles that prevent you from becoming motivated, such as believing things will never change, and challenge these roadblocks.
Reward or Revise
If you have succeeded at your goals, reward yourself. If not, then revise to make success more likely the next time around.
A Word From Verywell
Social anxiety can make it challenging to reach your goals. If you’re having trouble doing it on your own, consider seeking professional help. A therapist may be able to help you overcome barriers and obstacles that stand in your way. If it feels too overwhelming to see a therapist in-person, you might try online therapy.
