It probably hurts to think about your sister not talking to you. After all, it sounds like you were kind enough to open your home to her. And her decision to stop talking to you somewhat implies your relationship is conditional—she’ll only talk to you if you give her a place to live. She is disregarding the fact that you don’t feel like that is in your best interest right now. However, your decision could lead to better results for your sister’s life, too. If she’s experiencing financial difficulties, this situation may motivate her to create positive changes for herself. Or, if she’s lonely living on her own, she may choose to make some changes to her social life. Either way, her problems are not necessarily your responsibility. In the meantime, you may be grieving the loss of having your sister in your life. You might have been really close if you were living together. Not having her around might stir up a variety of feelings.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Talk You Into Backing Down
Whether you feel guilty, worried, sad, or angry, those feelings are all okay and they aren’t signs that you made a bad choice. Those emotions might have just gotten stirred up because of your sister’s reaction—not because of the choice you made. Allowing your sister to move back in might temporarily relieve your guilt or your anxiety, but it doesn’t sound like that’s what you want to do. So look for healthy ways to cope with those feelings—like with physical activity, journaling, or leisure activities. When you show you’re serious about sticking to your limits, your sister might decide to start talking to you again. You can certainly reach out to her and invite her to have a conversation, but don’t feel obligated to keep trying to talk to her if she isn’t interested.
Focus on Your Marriage and Moving Forward
You’re better off putting your energy into your new marriage. Work on establishing a close connection with your partner and maybe with time, your sister will see that she can still have a relationship with you even when she doesn’t live in your home. If someone asks why your sister moved out, you might offer a quick explanation like, “I’m getting married,” or you might simply say, “We decided it was for the best.” You don’t necessarily need to get into a lengthy conversation about why your sister is mad. And if someone mentions that they know she is angry at you, tell them you’re aware, but don’t talk more about the tension in your relationship. Talking to other people about the situation will only fuel the distance between you and your sister. If you find you need someone to talk to, consider going to therapy so you can get some objective feedback from a mental health professional.
