Having an anxiety disorder can impact relationships in different ways. Understanding the different ways feeling of anxiety might interfere with your relationships can help you find ways to cope. Here are two specific ways in which your anxiety can lead to problems maintaining connections with others, as well as strategies you can implement (under the guidance of a mental health professional) to help you navigate these unhealthy attachment patterns.
Signs of Anxiety in Relationships
There are a number of behaviors that people might engage in when they are experiencing anxiety in relationships. Some of these signs include:
Worrying that the other person is lyingFearing that the other person likes other people betterWorrying about the other person cheatingWorrying that their anxiety will negatively affect the relationshipOverthinking every conversation, phone call, or textPushing people away first in order to avoid rejectionAvoiding relationships altogether
People won’t necessarily experience all of these symptoms or exhibit them to the same degree. The way that each person experiences anxiety in a relationship often depends on the nature and severity of their anxiety condition.
How Anxiety Affects Relationships
There are a few major ways that anxiety can impact a relationship. When you are experiencing feelings of anxiety, you may respond by being either too dependent or too avoidant. Both responses can take a toll on how you interact and communicate with others.
Dependence
Some people with anxiety have an intense desire for closeness to their partners (or friend), depending on them constantly for support and reassurance. Along with being overly dependent, people with anxiety may find themselves prone to:
OverthinkingPlanning for all worst-case scenariosBeing indecisiveFearing rejectionSeeking out constant communication (and getting anxious if a partner or friend does not respond quickly)
People with anxiety and overly dependent relationships may also struggle with anger toward those they feel dependent on, acting out in ways that are destructive to their relationships.
Avoidance
On the other end of the spectrum, some people avoid relationships as a way of dealing with their anxiety. They may avoid negative emotions (for example, disappointment or frustration) by not revealing their feelings, opening up, or being vulnerable. A person who is avoidant of close relationships may be experienced as cold, emotionally unavailable, lacking empathy, or even stand-offish, even though they may long for closeness.
Treatment for Anxiety in Relationships
If anxiety is having a negative impact on your relationships, it is important to talk to a healthcare practitioner or mental health professional. There are treatments that can help you manage your anxiety and improve your communication and functioning in your interpersonal relationships.
Medications
Medication is also often an essential part of anxiety treatment. While the medications prescribed for anxiety, like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, are not curative, they can help decrease your symptoms and help you feel better as you rework your anxious thoughts and behaviors with your therapist.
Psychotherapy
There are a number of different types of therapy that can be useful in the treatment of anxiety disorder, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy, and exposure therapy. Such therapies can also be helpful for improving communication in relationships. A therapist who specializes in a type of talk therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy can help you devise strategies on how to reassure yourself and take thoughtful action on your own, instead of needing your partner for comfort each time you are anxious. If you find yourself being overly distant in your relationships, cognitive behavioral therapy, also with other types of therapy, such as psychodynamic psychotherapy, may be helpful. A mental health professional can help a person explore past and present relationships and the emotions surrounding those interpersonal connections. A therapist will also help you understand how anxiety impacts your relationships. For instance, exploring your emotions more deeply may be a good strategy for someone who tends to be avoidant.
Coping With Anxiety in Relationships
In addition to professional help, there are also tactics and strategies that people can use to help manage feelings of anxiety when they are in a relationship. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. For instance, if you find yourself becoming angry or suspicious in these relationships, first remind yourself that this may be fueled by your anxiety. Then, take a few moments to think about any facts that support your worry to try and regain some perspective. Other techniques that might be helpful include:
Talking to your partner about your anxiety Attending couples counseling together Setting boundaries Finding ways to manage anxiety and stress with meditation, mindfulness, deep breathing, and other relaxation techniques
A Word From Verywell
Sometimes anxiety is overwhelming and debilitating, which can be extremely detrimental to relationships. Feelings of anxiety can also grow worse over time if left untreated, so reaching out for help is important. Talk to a doctor or mental health professional if your symptoms of anxiety are causing distress or affecting important aspects of your life, including your daily life and relationships. With proper treatment, you can develop healthy, long-lasting, and fulfilling connections with others.
