In a 2008 study, it was determined that the best self-help books have similar qualities. These include being grounded in science (what we call “evidence-based”), realistic in terms of what you are promised (should not promise a “cure”), detailed in the guidance that is offered, and not providing any inaccurate or false information (what’s called “doing no harm”). Tips cover topics such as first impressions, small talk, body language, and rapport. Lowndes writes in an entertaining and direct way, even giving her tips catchy names so that you will remember them, such as “Rubberneck the Room.” The author examines the 12 most common barriers to communication that damage relationships and how to overcome them. Strategies offered cover areas such as listening skills, assertiveness, conflict resolution, and how to use silence effectively (yes, it’s sometimes a tool rather than the result of anxiety). As most of what you say is transmitted through your body and tone of voice, mastering the art of body language should be top on your list when working on interpersonal skills. How to Win Friends and Influence People handles topics such as dealing with people, becoming a better speaker, and attracting friends. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living explores how to avoid the emotional upset and reduce worry in your life. Though written over 60 years ago, both books are still relevant today. Whatever you do, be sure that you actually try to practice what you read in these books. While it may be tempting to revert back to your previous behavior, going back to old habits won’t help you move forward. Make it a game if you have to, and give yourself a reward every time you use a strategy out of one of these books.
