It’s not immediately clear why people with BPD may feel intense anger and aggression, but research suggests:
It could be tied to the overall emotional dysregulation people with BPD often experience. It may occur as a result of perceived rejection. It could be linked to stress (although this connection seems to apply more toward self-directed anger, not aggression toward others).
If you experience this kind of anger, you may not feel in control of the emotion. Many people with BPD engage in unhealthy behaviors when they get angry, including acts that can cause physical harm or destroy relationships. This can lead to further feelings of hurt and frustration, which can, in turn, cause more anger. However, with practice, it is possible to learn to manage anger in healthier ways. Here are some tips on healthy ways to manage your anger with BPD. For example, what does that first twinge of anger feel like? How does your body react? If you can catch these signals when you are moderately annoyed, rather than fully enraged, you can intervene earlier. Don’t choose something passive, like watching television, because your thoughts will likely drift back to whatever is making you angry. Taking a meditation break may calm you down in an intense moment and, over time, learning these techniques could help you break the cycle of reactivity often associated with anger. If you are being willful, consider whether that behavior is really working for you. If not, try to take a problem-solving approach. What are you angry about, and is there any way you could take action to solve the situation? To incorporate more humor in your life, try reframing a frustrating situation as a humorous one, or taking a break to watch a funny movie.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) Mentalization-based therapy Schema-focused therapy Transference-focused psychotherapy
While each method involves different techniques, they are all focused on helping you learn new coping skills so you can respond with less anger toward the stressors in your life.
